Hug a first grader

(picture from Thanksgiving, when a sweet, sleep-deprived six-year-old needed a snuggle with Mama)

I don't even think there are words to describe the sadness Chuck and I have felt over the last few days. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that every parent's worst nightmare is to lose a child, and as we look at our cherished first-grader, our hearts break for those families who have been so horrifically separated from theirs.

Chuck and I have each taken the opportunity to talk to Clyde about what happened (obviously at an age-appropriate level). Chuck picked Clyde up from school on Friday and they discussed it briefly, and I did the same yesterday. We talked about the safety drills he practices at school, specifically the 'gun drill', and we talked about gun safety and we talked about being families forever and we talked about mental illness. I'm so grateful for my wise, sweet little boy.

I'm also grateful for the incredible strength and compassion of Robbie Parker, whose little girl Emilie died. Here's a portion of the CNN article about Mr. Parker's words to the press about the tragedy:

Robbie Parker has a message for the family of the gunman who killed his 6-year-old daughter and 19 of her school mates. 

"I can't imagine how hard this experience must be for you, and I want you to know that our family and our love and our support goes out to you as well," Parker said, as he remembered his oldest girl, Emilie Alice.

Fighting back tears with his voice cracking, Parker asked Saturday night that the tragedy "not turn into something that defines us, but something that inspires us to be better, to be more compassionate and more humble people."

I'm also grateful for the words offered by President Obama in an address to the grieving community of Newtown, Connecticut. The entire transcript is available on CNN's website, but here is some of it:

“Here in Newtown, I come to offer the love and prayers of a nation. I am very mindful that mere words cannot match the depths of your sorrow, nor can they heal your wounded hearts. I can only hope it helps for you to know that you’re not alone in your grief; that our world too has been torn apart; that all across this land of ours, we have wept with you, we’ve pulled our children tight. And you must know that whatever measure of comfort we can provide, we will provide; whatever portion of sadness that we can share with you to ease this heavy load, we will gladly bear it. Newtown - you are not alone.

"As these difficult days have unfolded, you’ve also inspired us with stories of strength and resolve and sacrifice. We know that when danger arrived in the halls of Sandy Hook Elementary, the school’s staff did not flinch, they did not hesitate. Dawn Hochsprung and Mary Sherlach, Vicki Soto, Lauren Rousseau, Rachel Davino and Anne Marie Murphy - they responded as we all hope we might respond in such terrifying circumstances - with courage and with love, giving their lives to protect the children in their care. We know that there were other teachers who barricaded themselves inside classrooms, and kept steady through it all, and reassured their students by saying 'wait for the good guys, they’re coming'; 'show me your smile.'

"And we know that good guys came. The first responders who raced to the scene, helping to guide those in harm’s way to safety, and comfort those in need, holding at bay their own shock and trauma because they had a job to do, and others needed them more. 

"And then there were the scenes of the school children, helping one another, holding each other, dutifully following instructions in the way that young children sometimes do. One child even tried to encourage a grown-up by saying, 'I know karate, so it's OK. I'll lead the way out.' 

“As a community, you’ve inspired us, Newtown. In the face of indescribable violence, in the face of unconscionable evil, you’ve looked out for each other, and you’ve cared for one another, and you’ve loved one another. This is how Newtown will be remembered. And with time, and God’s grace, that love will see you through.

"But we, as a nation, we are left with some hard questions. Someone once described the joy and anxiety of parenthood as the equivalent of having your heart outside of your body all the time, walking around. With their very first cry, this most precious, vital part of ourselves - our child - is suddenly exposed to the world, to possible mishap or malice. And every parent knows there is nothing we will not do to shield our children from harm. And yet, we also know that with that child’s very first step, and each step after that, they are separating from us; that we won’t - that we can’t always be there for them. They’ll suffer sickness and setbacks and broken hearts and disappointments. And we learn that our most important job is to give them what they need to become self-reliant and capable and resilient, ready to face the world without fear. 

"And we know we can’t do this by ourselves. It comes as a shock at a certain point where you realize, no matter how much you love these kids, you can’t do it by yourself. That this job of keeping our children safe, and teaching them well, is something we can only do together, with the help of friends and neighbors, the help of a community, and the help of a nation. And in that way, we come to realize that we bear a responsibility for every child because we’re counting on everybody else to help look after ours; that we’re all parents; that they’re all our children. 

“This is our first task - caring for our children. It’s our first job. If we don’t get that right, we don’t get anything right. That’s how, as a society, we will be judged."


I'm also grateful for my testimony of eternal life and the promise of families being together forever and of a loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. Someone on facebook referenced this Christmas song and its particular relevance at this time. It's always been one of my favorites and now even more so:

"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"

(Lyrics taken from lds.org)

1. 1. I heard the bells on Christmas day
   Their old familiar carols play,
   And wild and sweet the words repeat
   Of peace on earth, good will to men.
   2. I thought how, as the day had come,
   The belfries of all Christendom
   Had rolled along th'unbroken song
   Of peace on earth, good will to men.
   3. And in despair I bowed my head:
   "There is no peace on earth," I said,
   "For hate is strong and mocks the song
   Of peace on earth, good will to men."
   4. Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
   "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
   The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
   With peace on earth, good will to men."
   5. Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
   The world revolved from night to day,
   A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
   Of peace on earth, good will to men!