So I almost had a heart attack the other night. Well, that's not true. I almost wet my pants the other night. Why? Because of this little feller:
A freaking penguin statue.
Let me set the scene: at about 3am I woke up to the sounds of Jack crying, followed immediately by the sounds of Jack, er, tossing his cookies. Poor baby. Poor me. Poor bedding. I got him cleaned up and his room cleaned up and went to take out his trash -- except that through the front window I saw a weird outline of a weird object in the street.
(this is the part where I almost wet my pants).
Now, in general I consider myself fairly brave/tough/hardcore/whatever, but this freaked
me out pretty good. I braced myself enough to open the door and venture
out a couple steps. At this point I was pretty sure it was a penguin,
which provided absolutely no comfort. It possibly freaked me out more - I
thought it was maybe some sort of (Billy Madison-related??) message.
I know it doesn't look that creepy in these pictures, but you all have the benefit of light - picture this bad boy peering at you THROUGH THE DARK. Yeah, that sends some shivers, doesn't it??
So, I woke up Chuck. I'm not proud of this, especially considering the poor guy's alarm was set to ring in about an hour. But you do what you gotta do, and my poor sweet husband looked out the window, walked outside a couple steps, confirmed it was a penguin, reassured me that we were fine, and then rocked a sick baby back to sleep. So he's clearly the best.
The next morning I staged a self-intervention and made myself go confront the little guy. Spoiler alert: he was just as creepy up close. I decided his middle-of-the-road placement was less than ideal, so I got hands-on and walked him over to the side of the road (he was HEAVY!). There was some more debris a few feet away, so he must have fallen casualty to a middle-of-the-night move.
Apparently he was worth a return trip, though, since when I looked out a few hours later he was gone. Good riddance buddy! See you in my nightmares! Please never come back!!
(P.S. here's the Billy Madison scene the post title refers to:
Fair warning, it's Adam Sandler, so, you know, proceed with caution :) )
7 comments:
Oh wow that makes my skin crawl!! I know I'm adding fuel to the fire, but remember those creepy penguin beer commercials from the '90s?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVWtq-_VYk8
It must be a fairly common thing to think penguins are creepy or there wouldn't be so many pop culture references to their creepiness.
I, for one, am way more afraid of flighted birds than the flightless ones, but you can't choose your own irrational fear.
Actually, yours is kind of rational after this experience. My condolences.
That thing is freaky! I don't blame you for waking Chuck up. I'm sure placing the penguin there worked out better than the culprits expected it to.
This is why we are best friends.
You're so funny! I, too, hate seeing things out the window in the wee hours of the morning. I'm glad his Mama came back for him, but are you sure you shouldn't have let your boys beat him senseless in the backyard?
that penguin is so creepy! i would've peed my pants
LOL!!!!!!!
Love the title. Love it.
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