NO more monkeys jumping on the bed!

The classic version:
One little monkey, jumping on the bed

He fell off and bumped his head

Mama called the doctor

and the doctor said:

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

 Our version:

One little monkey-ish boy,

[Running through the playroom and]  

jumping on the mini trampoline 

[to catapult himself into the living room]

He miscalculated [on the sixteenth time doing it] and bumped his head [into the doorframe]

Mama texted/facetimed the third year med student 

[thanks Sam]

and the third year med student said:

Better get someone to close the wound on that head!

 

For posterity's sake, here's the injury:

It was pretty small and luckily bled very little, especially for a head wound. And Clyde was a champ, after the initial tears he was super chill - which was good since it was quite a process to get the situation figured out (Do we need to take him in? If so, where? Does Chuck need to get off work? Has Grandma Pam left town yet? Why didn't I get gas yesterday? Where the freak is Will's other shoe?) and we didn't roll into the hospital until about two hours after the, ahem, bump occurred.

Luckily we got in real quick and they numbed the area and wrapped his head up tight :).

 We made the most of our downtime waiting for the medicine to take effect: reading, coloring, snuggling his new teddy bear, and watching General Conference on the ipad.

 Unfortunately, the good times couldn't last too long; eventually the doctor came back with a stapler and things went slightly downhill when THE STAPLER GOT STUCK TO MY CHILD'S HEAD WITH THE SECOND STAPLE. So that was slightly traumatic as I'm holding Clyde and reassuring him as he's crying for his daddy (it's cool, I almost cried for Chuck too) and the doctor and nurse are like prying the thing out while saying over and over "This has never happened before! I've never seen this!"

Luckily it came free pretty quick and Clyde enjoyed a quick snuggle with the teddy bear before we headed out to the waiting room to be greeted by Grandma Pam and her much needed offering of M&M's.

And now we're home (after stopping at Chuck's work to say a quick hi) and Clyde's eaten two cookies and one cupcake and is snuggling with Will on the couch watching Diego, so all that plus his ability to give me sassy looks once again indicates he's going to be juuuuust fine :). 

Thanks to Sam for sharing your doctor expertise and thanks to my mom for taking care of Will and Jack in the waiting room and thanks to Chuck's boss for being gone so that Chuck couldn't get off work easily so I had the chance to prove my mettle in a medical situation - I didn't cry! At all! Or almost pass out! Or have to leave the room when things got intense! I felt pretty hardcore.

I really wish I could say that this little monkey has learned his lesson, but he was jumping around as we got to the hospital and as we left, and to obtain his promised cookies he scaled up the pantry shelves, soooo yeah. Wish us all luck.