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Thursday, May 15, 2014

A farewell to pregnancy


Well, we are officially on the clock for the conclusion of this pregnancy - baby girl Izatt is set to make her debut early tomorrow afternoon and I am, I think, hitting every high and low on the emotional rollercoaster: 

I'm anxious and excited and terrified and so thrilled not to be pregnant and so worried something will go wrong and so psyched to meet her and so not psyched about the c-section and then there's the typical worrying about leaving the boys for 3-4 days and also I have some heartburn/late in the game nausea and I'm just itching to order me some delicious hospital food (no joke, I legitimately think it's delicious) and I'm nervous about the immediate recovery after the c-section (last time I was soooo itchy) and I'm looking forward to Jeopardy tomorrow, the last night of the 'Decade/Champions/Tournament' thing and I think I've cried at least once a day for the last week and I'm grateful for the sweet gifts friends have dropped off lately (two today!) and I'm thankful I'll be in an air-conditioned hospital tomorrow when it hits the mid 80's again and HOLY MOLY tomorrow I'll have four kids...

SOOO, basically that sums up my current levels of crazy.

Which means this is the perfect time to postpone (for the zillionth time) packing the hospital bag and instead sneak off to the computer to blog real quick! I figure pretty soon I'll have cute pictures of an actual baby to post, so I should finish off the maternity shots now.

March:
(Pregnancy weeks 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)

The first Sunday of March was the Academy Awards and blessedly I had recently come across my old 'movie star' black and white polka dot dress at my mom's house, so I stuffed myself into it (albeit as a skirt). I had a sick kiddo that week, so I actually stayed home from church... but still got dressed up for the picture. I don't know if that's better or worse than actually attending in that get-up, haha... I don't remember anything too particular about the other weeks or outfits, except that the middle week was St. Patrick's Day and I was so sad that I didn't have more green clothing items/accessories that fit. Next year I'll redeem myself. 
 
 April:
 (Pregnancy weeks 35, 36, 37)

Sorry about the absence of week 34, it was General Conference and I totally spaced taking any kind of picture, whoops! That red skirt is my new favorite; it was two bucks at D.I. and it's safe to say that its elastic waistband will ensure it's a staple of my post-pregnancy wardrobe this summer and fall. The last week was my ode to the rainy April weather of the day, but I think most people just figured pregnancy brain had robbed me of my ability to match shades of blue :).

 May:
 (Pregnancy weeks 38, 39, and 39 1/2)

Okay, that last picture is cheating (from my doctor's appt yesterday) but I stuck it in there because I thought I looked cute and I needed to not end on the low that was my Mother's Day outfit. I had a long cute colorful necklace for that outfit, but then Will sweetly gave me a handmade orange beaded necklace that I promptly and happily put on... to find that it fit more like a choker, haha. The first week is the one and only time I wore that pink maternity shirt, I always feel really exposed in bright colors... but I might get brave and wear it again sometime, in which case forget that I specified it was 'maternity'.

It was pretty fitting that Mother's Day fell so late into this pregnancy; I've been uncomfortable and hormonal and whiny and really, really uncomfortable and possibly emotionally unstable :). So Mother's Day was just what I needed - a reminder of what a blessing (again, an at-times really uncomfortable blessing...) I've been given to carry these four children and raise them with Chuck. I joke about how nervous I am to have a daughter, but my anxiety levels about something going wrong tomorrow serve as a testament to how much I love her already. I joke about how batty my three sons drive me, but they each so, so central to my world and I can't imagine life without them. 
 Some of the Mother's Day fun: sweet school/church made fan letters, crayons and markers JUST FOR ME, flowers, a nap! (this pregnancy I acquired a weird habit of sleeping with a pillow on top of my head... not completely flat on top, kind of at an angle... I don't really know how it happened but it's fantastic...), and an after church picture of me with my kiddos in which I thought that my comfortable legs up and tucked to the side would apparently be flattering. I was very, very wrong, haha.

Okay, and that's all she wrote! Next post will hopefully be of the introductory sort to a sweet, healthy, straight-from-heaven baby girl; we can't wait!!

9 comments:

Leslie said...

You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow. Can't wait to see pictures of your sweet boys with their baby sister!

jayna said...
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jayna said...

Your line "And I posted it because I thought I looked cute" is all the qualification you need to raise a confident, moral, smart, funny, darling girl in this world. She will be one lucky lady to join her brothers in calling you MOM!

Best of luck- in our thoughts and prayers! I'll see you at the hospital in the morning where I'll be waiting to take home my new baby! (by hospital I mean Facebook and by "my new baby" i mean "my new baby".)

xoxo

Ben and Courtney Hugo said...

Yay! So excited! If you are freaking out in the morning call me and I'll talk you down. Love you!

jean said...

Jana, I love your blog site, what wonderful memories for you, sweet baby girl, and your honey bunch, and boys.you are the best. Such a good mother.i love your darling bubbly personality. Just love you. Love sister rolfson.if you need me call.

Holly Cameron said...

You're going to do awesome! I hope everything goes fast and great and more great! I'm so excited to see a GIRL in your house! I'm going to miss the prego belly pictures. You do pregoness well...even though you were uncomfortable. Congrats congrats. You're already a super mom...but 3 boys and a baby...ah yay yay! Give the rest of us a chance Jana...

Unknown said...

Oh Jana, I have always enjoyed your writing. When I am having a down day I always know I can read your carefree yet blunt words about life and feel better after laughing and empathizing a little. Love ya lots and so glad you and baby are doing well. Hugs

Maren said...

Loved this post and the reasons behind it!

Maren said...
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