Happy December! (cue panic attack . . .)

Well, it turns out I'm steadily approaching the end of this pregnancy; I'm almost 35 weeks along. Which means that I could have a baby THIS MONTH. Which, in the spirit of pregnancy hormones, brings about a multitude of emotions: excitement, anxiety, disbelief, curiosity, more anxiety, sadness, happiness, ambition, etc.

But before we break down all of that craziness, let's look back at how the baby and I got to this point, fashion/bump-wise:

Remember my 'different outfit every Sunday' goal? I updated about it back in April, and here are the weeks since then. It's been really fun; I especially like when there's a holiday or special occasion to steal a color scheme from. These pictures coincide with when I found out I was pregnant in May.

Here are pregnancy weeks 7-9 in May and June.

Weeks 10-12, all in June - the white outfit was on our wedding anniversary, and the blue and grey outfit was for Father's Day :).

Weeks 13-15 in July - hence my patriotic look in the first picture. (This is one of my favorite collages because it illustrates the importance of the camera angle. Chuck works every other Sunday, so those weeks I entrust Clyde to take my picture . . . obviously from below, making me look taller and bigger. Awesome.)

Weeks 16, 17, and 19 in July and August. (Sadly, no picture for week 18). The first picture was on Pioneer Day so I wore this cool handmade dress I found at D.I. That was also the day that the truck left the little boys and I stranded halfway to church and I thought we might have to walk the rest of the way (and no, we would not have sung).
Luckily we were rescued by Sister Wayman.

Here are weeks 19-21 in August - sorry for the overlap, that's when I decided to document the bump more closely with a sideways shot each week.

Weeks 22-24 in September . . . don't ask me what happened or what I ate during week 23. The shorter answer would clearly be in response to what didn't I eat.

Weeks 25-27 in September and October. Week 25 was when we were in Utah and I completely forgot to do a sideways shot after church, so this picture from the day before will have to suffice. Week 26 was General Conference, hence the super cool Star Wars shirt and lack of makeup.

Weeks 28-30 in October. I was so excited to bust out my tights and boots on that rainy Sunday morning in the first picture and to dress the boys in sweaters.
Ahh, it's the simple things in life :).

And finally, weeks 31-33 in November. I call the second outfit my homage to autumn. And the most recent shot of week 34 is at the top of this post.

So, onto the panic attack-inducing matters:

* I'm going to have a baby, thus changing the adult to child ratio in our home. 2:2 is great. 2:3 sounds much more daunting. 1:3 while Chuck's at work sounds impossible. I've just recently gotten brave enough to go to the grocery store with Clyde AND Will (and even then, I avoid it at all costs). How does one parent manage three children at one time? Yiiiikes.

* The c-section, scheduled for January 3rd. Both of my other c-sections have gone really well, for which I am obviously very grateful, but I'm still not super psyched about the whole prospect of surgery. There's also the slightly nerve-racking possibility of going into labor before that. As you may or may not remember from Will's birth story that I shared on his first birthday, I'm not super good at telling the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and real contractions...

* Nursing. I loved nursing Clyde and Will (both until they were just over a year) and I'm excited to breastfeed again, but I'm not super psyched about the learning curve at the beginning. Or the leaking. Or the odds of finding a nursing bra that's both comfortable and supportive and not forty dollars (any leads on this one?).

* Being away from Clyde and Will while I'm in the hospital. They will be in the excellent hands of Grandma Pam, but it still makes me sad/nervous not to be with them for those three days.

* The possibility of health issues for the baby. I know that I shouldn't borrow trouble, but since when do expectant moms respond to rationality? Especially when both of our darling little boys have genetic conditions that are thankfully not at all life-threatening but definitely affect our day-to-day lives.
(I found out the hard way that this concern should not be shared with one's medical student older brother, who will 'helpfully' email you pictures and details about much more rare/serious genetic disorders to remind you to be grateful and not complain. Thanks Sam - you are officially disinvited from my future pity parties . . . which may have been his intention all along.)

* Postpartum hormones. I've never suffered from hardcore postpartum depression, but I'm definitely slightly off-kilter after I have a baby - you know, sad things seem devastating, difficult things seem completely overwhelming, etc. And as we've established, January is a fairly gloomy month anyways. I figure we'll just stock up on hot chocolate and go from there!

In that hot chocolate-y spirit of optimism, here are the reasons why I haven't actually had a panic attack yet:

* I get to have another baby! I am well aware that not everyone with this desire is able to have it fulfilled, so it seems absolutely ridiculous for me to complain or be anything less than thrilled. I consider it a very sacred privilege to be a mother - although in my less-than-perfect state I'm still working on having my everyday actions match that belief. Luckily Clyde and Will are very forgiving!

* My super awesome ob/gyn, Dr. Klomp. He's the reason that I'm not more nervous for the c-section - he does excellent work and I know that he genuinely cares about me. Plus I think it's awesome that he delivered me almost 27 years ago (also via c-section!). Love him.

* The hospital stay. . . mostly the food. St. Luke's Downtown has the best food. I'm excited to have my old standbys (French toast every morning, spinach wraps, Oreo milkshakes) and try some new things. How can you not love the ability to pick up the phone, order from an extensive menu, and be served your food (in bed!) shortly thereafter?

* Chuck. Thanks to his stockpile of sick days and his 12-hour workdays, his FMLA time off works out to be the entire month of January. PRAISE the HEAVENS. I am so happy to know that he will be around to help Clyde and Will adjust, to do school with Clyde and get Will on and off the bus on preschool days, handle church while the baby and I stay home and avoid all y'all's colds and germs, and just generally keep me from going crazy - that will obviously occur in February instead :).

So, ultimately yay for December and the last few weeks of pregnancy! And perhaps to bid farewell to November I will get motivated and blog about our trip to Elko a couple of weeks ago and our Thanksgiving holiday . . . hmm, maybe tomorrow . . . .